Parenting Styles, Edited

Every once in a while, I get the pleasure of comparing -yes, and you do it too- our parenting with others' parenting. It never occurred to me that one of my children would get to see the same thing. In general, we have gently guided our children to friends who are from similar families. Families with no substance abuse issues, for instance. Noah was blessed to see and compare two parenting styles last night.

He is participating in a program called Teen Court. Teens are trained to act as judge, counsel and jury in actual misdemeanor trials of accused teenagers. Last night was the first court session of the school year. Noah will sit on juries for half the year, and then probably move to bailiff.

There were three cases on the docket, two curfew violations and possession of paraphernalia (only those under 18 can be tried for this.) The case that he sat on the jury for was one of the curfew violations. It was a good kid, almost an Eagle Scout, good grades...crying in court. He was caught at 3 am in a parking lot. We don't know what for, the prosecutor failed to ask. His parents grounded him for 4 months. He received the lightest sentence to be had, some community service, I think.

The drug paraphernalia case: the kid came to court stoned. His mother simply apologized to the court, no at home punishment. He received the maximum amount of community service. This was his second time. He stated that while he was trying to stop smoking pot, he probably wouldn't.

Noah was amazed that the good kid's parents grounded him for so long. "He's a good kid, Mom!"

I explained to him that good parents parent, and bad parents have a laissez faire attitude about parenting. "They're going to do what they want, so why try?"

I'm pleased that Noah chose to do this. I gave him a choice of Teen Court or debate team. Debate would be good, academically, but this is going to provide him with some experiences that he certainly would not have elsewhere.

Edit:
Sam woke up and took the opportunity to talk to the boys about the cases that Noah heard last night. They talked about liberty and laws which in fringe upon individual liberty. (Q was quit disturbed that a city could pass a law which would supersede the authority of the parent.) When Sam got out of the shower, he said that enjoyed getting teaching opportunities like that :)