At what point did I become so locked into the world's way of doing school? Surely there are basics that one needs to know. But homeschooling was supposed to be about freedom and retaining curiosity and the natural love of learning that kids have.
Not only that, but specific to our family; I believe God led us to this lifestyle because we are supposed to be discipling our kids. The discoveries I made last week are the fruit of what we've been doing. And it ain't Godly discipling. I don't want to have regrets there, in particular.
I guess I need a come to Jesus moment.
Proverbs 16:9 (nasb) The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it.
This Sunday, I had a moment of clarity that I had left the verse that God gave me for our school.
Isaiah 54:13. All your sons will be taught of the Lord, and the well being of your sons of your sons will be great.
The next verse says this, "In righteousness you will be established; You will be far from oppression, for you will not fear; And from terror, for it will not come near you."
In righteousness you will be established. Not in doing school, not in not in requiring good behavior, not in expectations. But in righteousness. Then it says that oppression, fear and terror will not come near. That is where I am right now. Fear that the boys won't measure up, that I won't measure up.
I made school in our home. I left the words I have been speaking for years, "Home first, school second." I let school become my identity, instead of being identified only by Christ. And my children see that and imitate it. We have all been striving for outward goodness. For people to look on us and be impressed. We have left the inside to grow dark and dirty.
Maybe we do need a summer break, in order to air out these vessels. God help me to not waste summer break. But to build relationships with You and with the boys.
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